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☺ written and created by D O G ☺
☺ issue 1 ☺
☺ CONTENT ☺
☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺
☺ what it's ☺ ☺ mel's ☺ ☺ xoxo ☺ ☺ inter- ☺ ☺ i've been having a lot ☺ ☺ i see ☺
☺ all about ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ mission ☺ ☺ of problems lately ☺ ☺ angels ☺
☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺
☺ WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT ☺
so i guess i'm starting an e-zine sorta thing. i don't know what this is but, whatever, it's fun to do something purely impulsive
that you haven't planned out. anyway this is a collection of all my poems/song lyrics/whatever. i'm obsessed with punk and
alternative music starting from the 70s through to the 90s and early 2000s (with a couple modern exceptions). i've always wanted
to be in a band, or be some sort of musician, but i can't sing or play guitar, and i'm only moderately okay at bass. so i've stuck to
songwriting for the past 2 years. and i've kinda hated having this massive collection of hundreds of songs and yet no one is ever
going to hear or read them or whatever. so i thought i'd put them here just, you know, in case someone wanted to see them and
maybe thought they were cool or whatever. i think they tell a lot about who i am as a person, with themes of all that sooper kool
teenage angst and self loathing. and it's called GODBOG because i think it sounds sick and i have this weird obsession with
religion even though i'm pretty agnostic. i'm like a mall goth only it's more than aesthetic, but less than believing. and i'm calling
myself D O G because it's god backwards and i like the idea of dumb three letter names. like ZIM. and DIB. and GIR. or D O G.
pronounced like the animal.
☺ MEL'S ☺
(this was the first song i ever wrote. it's not the best, but whatever, i'll put it out here)
it's okay, i get it
i'm not good enough
not interesting, fun, cool enough for you
don't worry, i know
if i weren't me i'd hate me too
in fact, i hate me anyway
just, did you spare me a thought?
a fleeting moment, gone in a flash
you know you're my weak spot
but with you it's like whiplash
did you spare me a thought?
it didn't have to be a good one
when you were talking to them
did you think of me?
sometimes with you it feels to good to be true
and thats when i realise
in real life you don't love me like this
and its all just in my head
just, did you spare me a thought?
a fleeting moment, gone in a instant
you know you're my weak spot
but i'm starting to feel nonexistent
did you spare me a thought?
it didn't have to be a good one
you never caught me
when i fell for you
i didn't want you to see how you hurt me
didn't want to cry
but i'll admit, there were some tears
cause i trusted you, you let me down
just, did you spare me a thought?
it didn't have to be a good one
did you spare me a thought?
it didn't have to be
it wasn't meant to be
☺ XOXO ☺
when you see me in the morning
it's like we never even had those 3am chats
yeah, the weathers been shit lately,
tell my something i cant hear on the radio
what about last night
i didn't dream it, did i
ur a late night kiss over the phone
you've left me overthinking again
just kiss me in the daytime
kiss me in the daytime and make it real
when you said you loved me
was it just as a friend?
your heart emojis leave me confused
is it real? or is it just me
you've got those bags under your eyes
i know you stayed up with me
ur a late night kiss over the phone
you've left me overthinking again
just kiss me in the daytime
kiss me in the daytime and make it real
i want to feel your hand in mine
i want to stroke your hair
i want to hold you tight at night
you're just a phone call away
just four words away
"i need you here"
why cant i say it
why cant you hear it
hold me in the daytime and make it real
ur a late night kiss over the phone
you've left me overthinking again
just kiss me in the daytime
kiss me in the daytime and make it real
kiss me in the daytime and make it real
kiss me in the daytime and say you love me
say you love me for real
☺ INTERMISSION ☺
like i said earlier, this cyberzine is called GODBOG because i'm fascinated by religion. i also want to write about it more in my
music. it's something that's come up pretty infrequently in my music, but it's something that i for sure want to focus more on. i'm
in love with more theatrical, storytelling artists with concept songs and albums, and i think religion is something i can use to
explore more complex concepts. also i wanna add that if you read the above two songs and thought they were shit, i agree. i find
it difficult to critique my own music though. i know it's not perfect, but i can't figure out what would make it better, or if it's just
completely crap. oh well.
☺ I'VE BEEN HAVING A LOT OF PROBLEMS LATELY ☺
i've been having a lot of problems with my body lately
i'm having phantom pains in my breasts and stomach
sometimes my eyes go blurry for no reason
and i feel like i'm going to black out
i think i might be iron deficient or something
i've been having a lot of problems with my brain lately
i keep thinking about all the things i could have been
and i'm only seventeen but i think my life's already over
like i wasted it all on being sad
and the thought only makes me more sad than before
i've been having a lot of problems with my body and brain lately
i can't let myself look in the mirror naked
i get all caught up in everything wrong with me
like my breasts and my thighs and my spine
and the fact that everything about me is just all wrong
and if you asked me to list them it goes like this:
i hate my legs
my body hair
my breasts
my neck
my nose
my ears
my teeth
my mouth
my acne,
god i hate my acne
and my stomach
my hips
my crotch
did i say my body hair?
does everyone have hair here?
and my feet
my tattoos
my knees
my shoulders
my bone structure
my...
☺ I SEE ANGELS ☺
there is a place that i only know in dreams
the cool sunlight placates my fears
this is a place where the angels roam
i love them so, oh how i love them so
my shoulder blades long to grow
sprouting wings so i can go
anywhere that i can think
anywhere that they will take me
i'm not an angel
that's what they say to me
"your not an angel
you're just crazy"
but when i've got wings
and eyes like fire
you'll be in awe of me
and all my power
"will you take care of these for me"
an angel comes and sits beside me
they hand me over their wings
and disappear through the clouds
wings like snow, soft in my hands
i sling them over my back
tie them tight with a ribbon
they gave me wings, and i'm in heaven
i'm not an angel
thats what they said to me
"your not an angel
you're just crazy"
but when i've got wings
and eyes like fire
you'll be in awe of me
and all my power
and i fly, and i fly
and i fly, and i fly
and i fly, and i fly
and i fly, and i fly
she's an angel
that's what they said below me
she's an angel
she's flying free
now i've got my wings
you all desire
your'e in awe of me
and all my power
i see angels, here
i see angels
i see angels, here
i see angels
eyes like fire
i don't belong there
i belong here
where i see angels
i see angels