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☺ written and created by D O G ☺
☺ issue 2 ☺


☺ CONTENT ☺

☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺       ☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺
☺ admiring ☺      ☺   cut    ☺      ☺ fall asleep   ☺      ☺ inter-       ☺      ☺  untitled  ☺      ☺    clean    ☺
☺  friends   ☺      ☺   here ☺       ☺ on my floor ☺      ☺ mission   ☺      ☺   (kms)    ☺      ☺ my room ☺
☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺       ☺☺☺☺☺☺      ☺☺☺☺☺☺





☺ ADMIRING FRIENDS ☺

hey, DOG here. i know i promised to update this quite often, and totally didn't even follow through with that. but i'm doing it now.
i've been writing a lot, since a lot of new stuff has come into my life recently. i'm wanting to focus obsessively on something
again, so i'm trying to dig into music. despite that, i also want to start getting into poetry. that is essentially what i'm doing,
since i've not put any music to my words so far. but i don't think i have the right kind of brain for poetry. there's a girl that
i've met at uni who is amazing at all this poetry stuff. every time we smoke she gets on her laptop and writes shape poetry, like
these amazing, well written poems that are shaped like circles or diamonds or women. i wish i could do something like that, but it
just doesn't come naturally to me like it seems to do with her. for me, i'm much better at just laying my feelings out in the most
crude, inarticulate way possible, with the occasional rhyme thrown in for some interest. and i like it that way. even though i wish i
could be technically talented, i don't feel like my writings are any worse, just different. i'm quite happy with the way things are.






☺ CUT HERE ☺

is it worth the pain of letting me be seen
if you cut me open will you really love me more
i'm putting my life in your hands
this better work

take a knife to my heart
ill let you do anything
cut me open, see whats inside
my guts tell a story
i don't want you there
but ill let you if you ask

you'll regret the day you ever asked
to see what is inside
it'll scare you away
i don't want to be alone

take a knife to my heart
ill let you do anything
cut me open, see whats inside
my guts tell a story
i don't want you there
but ill let you if you ask

i know you asked a million times
and every time i said "it's okay"
but if you open up your eyes
and really look at me you'll see

take a knife to my heart
ill let you do anything
cut me open, see whats inside
my guts tell a story
i don't want you there
but ill let you if you ask

mother nature raped me
uni life is killing me
my childhood haunts me
my body hates me
mother nature raped me
uni life if killing me
my childhood haunts me
my body hates me

take a knife to my heart
ill let you do anything
cut me open, see whats inside
my guts tell a story
i don't want you there
but ill let you if you ask





☺ FALL ASLEEP ON MY FLOOR ☺

i want to cut you up
and i want to cut myself
and i want to stick the wounds together
til we've healed onto each other

and we're conjoined twins
soulmates attached at the wrist
your blood in my blood
i'll give you my diseases
you can give me your diseases

there's something about the way you smell
it makes me ill
it makes me think of him
all of my biggest regrets
there's something about the way you smell
it makes me love you
i makes me hungry
i makes me want to die

i don't want to die
i don't want to die
i don't want to die

so why'd i keep driving too fast
cross the road without looking
waste my loans on packs of cigarettes
i'm so sick of doing drugs
lets do more drugs

we'll put our headphones in together
lean in close together
curl up in bed together
you should've told me you were cold on the floor down there

there's room for you here
get in close beside me
put your arms tight around me
i'll let you sleep 'til the afternoon

i'm high, i love you
i'm high, i love you
i think i'm coming down
i don't love you
do you wanna get high? i love you.

i'm out of medicine
i'm out of medicine again
i'm out of medicine
it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts oh it hurts

i'm out of medicine
i'm out of medicine again
i'm out of medicine
i'll have to sleep until i don't feel again

but i don't wanna live last summer again
i don't wanna waste the best years of my life
i don't wanna sleep through every day
i don't wanna miss everything with my friends
i don't wanna turn to drugs again
i don't wanna lose my mind again
i don't wanna want to die again
i don't wanna write another suicide note

keep living
keep living
i don't wanna die again
don't want last summer again
don't wanna die again
keep living, keep living keep living
stay for friends again
stay for orgasms again
stay for sex again
stay for laundry again
stay for food again
stay for skinny again
stay for crying again
stay for movies n music n talks with friends again
stay for sun again
stay for snow again
stay for storms again
stay until everything feels alright
stay for heaven again
stay for living again
stay for kissing again
stay for sleeping together again
stay for songs again
stay for words again
stay for space again
stay for the empty place in my heart...

can you fill it?





☺ INTERMISSION ☺

i've been thinking a lot about a career in music. i never think i could be a regular touring artist signed to a label with contracts
for albums and such. maybe i'll be something like flatsound. the way he just releases music solo, whenever he wants to. i think i like
the way car seat headrest does things. i remember hearing that he recorded his first album in his car, which seems a good idea for me.
i'm always afraid of the people around me hearing the music i make. i know i'm not especially talented, not at singing nor bass nor
guitar. but i enjoy it, so who cares? i'll drive out someplace quiet, maybe the car park of the riverside museum where i go to hotbox.
i'd release it all on soundcloud, or maybe on this website, and hope someone would listen. but i don't expect anything from it. i'd
just like to make it. really hear what i have all up in my brain.





☺ UNTITLED (KMS) ☺

i was always waiting on you
always giving to you, always helping you
i didn't know it was all temporary

you were waiting to find something better
i was praying to find something worse
to give me an excuse to take it out on me

paint me in black and white
i don't care if that's how you see it
you were the exception and now you're the reason
show up at my funeral to laugh in your face

i'll rewrite my suicide note
same story, different perspective
i never knew how little you were there for me

now i text you five times a day
and i see you reply to my friends
but i still don't know, are you mad at me?

paint me in black and white
i don't care if that's how you see it
you were the exception and now you're the reason
show up at my funeral to laugh in your face

i filed you under a different name
you weren't like anyone else
you were real, you were solid
but the time came and they stayed but you left
how was i to know i was so wrong
how was i to know you'd leave when you could go

paint me in black and white
i don't care if that's how you see it
you were the exception and now you're the reason
show up at my funeral to laugh in your face





☺ CLEAN MY ROOM ☺

(this one is about my mother. we never had the best relationship, but since i've moved out i miss her. don't take it too seriously)

i miss when i had you to take care of me
now i make my own bed
i make my own meals
i cry when i think about you
i hope i never let you down
i never wanted to hurt you

i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room

i dreamed that you were here with me
i woke up all alone
to the sound of my alarm
i cry when i think about you
i hope i never let you down
i never wanted to hurt you

i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room

my place in life is with you
you told me i could come home
my place in life is with you
but i dragged myself away
i said it was for the greater good
its best for the two of us
my place in life is with you
but i couldn't be with you
my place in life is with you
i'm nothing if i'm not with you

i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
because i love the way you clean it
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room
i will never clean my room